My favourite posts
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@tmg:
To put Gile's phrase in context,
From the BBC - by John Cleese.
ANNOUNCEMENT
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved."
Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.
The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.
The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.
Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
Americans meanwhile and as usual are carrying out pre-emptive strikes, on all of their allies, just in case.
And in the southern hemisphere…
New Zealand has also raised its security levels - from "baaa" to "BAAAA!". Due to continuing defense cutbacks (the airforce being a squadron of spotty teenagers flying paper aeroplanes and the navy some toy boats in the Prime Minister's bath), New Zealand only has one more level of escalation, which is "I hope Australia will come and rescue us".
Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be right, mate". Three more escalation levels remain: "Crikey!', "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend" and "The barbie is cancelled". So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.
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Hahaha I understand his pain I had a wtf :o moment buttoning my first UHR's.
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I stop for fuel at a Shell garage, I'm sitting om my bike with the nozzle in the tank, waiting for the attendant to switch it on when over the tannoy "can you get off your bike please"
And I'm thinking, why? anyway I do.
I go in to pay and ask him what that's all about. 'Shell like bikers to dismount'
Me; I've been biking for forty years and have never been asked to get off to fuel.
jobsworth; I've been biking for forty years and I always get off. Do you drive a car?
Me; Yes
Bellend; Well your'e not a proper biker then.
Me; So youv'e been biking for forty years and youv'e never sat on your bike to fuel?
Knobjockey; Yep.
Me; Well your'e not a proper biker then are you, anyway what colour's the sky in your world?
Prick; Silence….I mean WTF with the attitude, I work in healthcare and spend all day every day being courteous and polite to people, it annoys the fuck out of me when I come across dick heads like this, for all he knew I could have been around the fucking world on my bike. Prick.
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Pick a card
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When were NB cool the first time? Happily, I must have missed that era. They're consistently the worst looking athletic shoes of any major brand.
Many years ago, when I sold shoes, I found that appearance and comfort were inversely proportionate, so when customers asked my opinion on a hideous shoe's appearance, my standard response was, "they're very comfortable."
Those Feits must feel like getting a foot massage from angels.
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Totally with you on this. when/why the hell did NB's become "cool" again?!! I think 99% of them are ugly, although I will say that if they are that comfortable then that does go a long way and will maybe grant someone a free pass for wearing them.
When were NB cool the first time? Happily, I must have missed that era. They're consistently the worst looking athletic shoes of any major brand.
Many years ago, when I sold shoes, I found that appearance and comfort were inversely proportionate, so when customers asked my opinion on a hideous shoe's appearance, my standard response was, "they're very comfortable."
Those Feits must feel like getting a foot massage from angels.
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Are more black socks inbound in the near future?
Grey>black (imho of course [emoji1]).
As a part-time crime fighting ninja, I look for the most comfortable clothing I can find, as there is a direct correlation between the number of bad guys I catch and how great I feel. Unfortunately, the grey Iron Heart socks clash with my black night outfit, so I'm eagerly awaiting the black socks to be restocked.
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