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    Iron Heart Fall/Winter 2025 Collection Preview - Now Live

    That's Jokes

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    • GeoG
      Geo
      Joined:

      i'm in a little gang of friends (Geo, C, BM, B, J and WP) that have been best buddies since our days at college and we still hang out when we get the chance . . . we go out for beers, football and generally act well below our age

      one of the guys has a border collie - it's about the smartest dog i've ever known and C (the owner) has taught her all sorts of tricks

      anyway in the pub C says 'i've taught Deefer a new trick'

      BM says 'jeez - what now?'

      C 'if i'm watching football on the telly and we score she goes up on her hind legs and dances'

      BM 'that's unreal - you may as well give her a strip . . . does she do anything if you lose?'

      quick as a flash C say 'aye - she does somersaults'

      BMs now confused 'what? somersaults? how many somersaults does she do?

      C 'depends how often i kick her!'

      Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity

      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
      • SeulS
        Seul
        Joined:

        Feckers at my local tailoringshop must be joking.. On the door it reads "Come on in - we're always open" and then in small letters the days and hours they're actually open… Definitely not on a Thursday I'll tell you that much...

        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
        • GilesG
          Giles
          IHUK Crew
          Joined:

          So, I'm sitting watching the Royal Wedding with Mrs P and her sister Lisa.  We start a conversation about Williams hair:

          Lisa - "Yes, it would look much better if he just had a Number 2"
          Paula - "What, have a turd on his head?"

          "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
          • BeatleB
            Beatle
            Joined:

            lol, yeah..

            but I do feel bad for him - all those cameras filming from up top and basically if u didn´t know any better and only have pics from back - u´d think he´s already 50..

            We can do anything

            http://bybeatle.com

            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
            • GeoG
              Geo
              Joined:

              Seul - you're on a horse, galloping away at speed.

              On your right is a sharp drop off. On your left is an elephant travelling at the same speed as you.

              Directly in front of you is a kangaroo and your horse is unable to overtake it.

              Behind you, a lion is chasing.

              What the hell can you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?

              Well you can get off the merry-go-round and act your fucking age for a start . . . 30 my arse!

              Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity

              last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
              • GilesG
                Giles
                IHUK Crew
                Joined:

                wmk

                "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

                last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                • SeulS
                  Seul
                  Joined:

                  😉

                  last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • rocketR
                    rocket
                    Joined:

                    ;D, nice

                    rocketrocksrox 🤙🏼🤙🏾

                    It's all humbug, like everywhere
                    R.I.P. Geo

                    last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                    • ?
                      Guest
                      Joined:

                      Do you like my new scarf?

                      has this ever happened to any of you?

                      how about my new haircut? It looks amazing…

                      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • GeoG
                        Geo
                        Joined:

                        Ok so we all know that Seul continually bitches about his work but he's actually done quite well for himself although it has got him into some bother.

                        It was way back when he started as a junior delivery boy - his boss sent him out in the van to pick up some stock

                        Anyway - he was driving back when the boss phoned (on the hands free btw) and said "you've been doing well so I'm promoting you to Senior Delivery boy"

                        Astonished, Seul swerved

                        A couple of minutes later his boss phoned again and said "actually you are so good I'm making you head of deliveries"

                        Even more stunned Seul swerved again!

                        But within minutes the boss was phoning again "listen I've reconsidered - never mind head of deliveries - I want you to run the whole operation!"

                        Seul just can't believe his ears - swerves all over the place and hits a lampost, bangs his head and is knocked out

                        Next thing he knows - a cop is trying to wake him and asks "what happened?"

                        Seul answers "I must have careered off the road . . . "

                        Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity

                        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                        • hecticH
                          hectic
                          Joined:

                          groan

                          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                          • Finn666F
                            Finn666
                            Joined:

                            lol 😃

                            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                            • GeoG
                              Geo
                              Joined:

                              A N G B

                              . . . that's bang out of order 😉

                              Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity

                              last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                              • ?
                                Guest
                                Joined:

                                My girlfriend thinks I'm a stalker -
                                well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet

                                last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                • Finn666F
                                  Finn666
                                  Joined:

                                  hahahahaha 😃

                                  last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                  • SeulS
                                    Seul
                                    Joined:

                                    Why do I have the feeling this could've been monday…

                                    last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                    • madmondayM
                                      madmonday
                                      Raw and Unwashed
                                      Joined:

                                      that was weirder than your usual posing seul, hahahahahaha

                                      what was she doing & why

                                      head high, middle finger higher

                                      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                      • gollottiG
                                        gollotti
                                        Joined:

                                        ^ Kinda looks like an attempt at a Downward Facing Dog position

                                        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                        • SeulS
                                          Seul
                                          Joined:

                                          Trying to plank… It's only fun when it goes wrong...

                                          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                          • ?
                                            Guest
                                            Joined:

                                            Ouch!
                                            My wife can do that standing on her head - well you know what I mean.
                                            lucky it was'nt a gas oven

                                            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
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