Excuses, "Reasons" & Justifications For Your Latest Purchase
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My parents visited the tuck shop, all excuses are invalid haha
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Due to the wonders of technology, my wife gets detailed text messages any time one of our bank accounts is debited more than $150 in a transaction. Yesterday afternoon, following one of said text notifications, she asked me what I bought from Iron Heart. I told her what I purchased (IHSH-96 and a couple of tee shirts) and her only response was, "You're buying more tee shirts?"
She's very tolerant.
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I can't even get involved here. I could fill this up all by myself.
We need to learn from the master. Teach us oh mighty one.
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It's not something I am proud of
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Have those Viberg Smokejumpers arrived yet? "Honey I need these, they're orthotic."
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Step one: “I need one pair of heavy jeans and one pair of boots because they will last forever… or at least several decades!”
Step two: “You know if I have two pairs of heavy jeans and two pairs of boots they will be able to air out and people won’t think I’m wearing the same thing every day”
Step three: (by this time it usually gets easer as the crazy denim jargon/lingo is now understood, accepted, and internalized) ”these (fill in the blank) are very nice, they will fulfill need: 1,2,and 3. Plus they will be perfect for application: 1,2, and 3… Etc…”
And so it goes…Now the addiction has successfully gotten off the ground.
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Wearing the same footwear twice within the same week? Honey are you serious? They'll think I'm a bum! No way a bum is getting that promotion I'm totally in line for.
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my wife is in this line of work, not too mention worked in a Japanese denim store before. there's no way i can get away. the only good is that she supports it.. haha.
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Me: In the last five years I spent $1500 on lesser jeans, and I know you're looking for ways to trim expenses. Yes, I know their expensive, but look at these, their twice the material weight. Look this what these look like at 2 years of daily wear.
Her: Wow they still look newer than those Levi's you just bought!
Me: I know, see, if I buy a couple pair of these I would actually save us money long run due to duration of wear. I can slim down some of the extras, reducing clutter, and I know you hate that. Plus with infrequent washing we'll save on laundry too. I think I could actually save us 25-50% over ten years on denim alone. (Shows her notes and calculations)
Her: oh, that's not bad when you look at it like that!
Me: I know, you should see their shirts….
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^ This is good
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You guys are rookies
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Let's put it this way back in March. I had Urb purchase a pair of skis for me and ship them to my office. I had the ski manufacturer "ON3P" make sure their was nothing on receipts or in the computer about me and that the skis were a gift from Shane. When I brought them home. I told my wife that Shane shot for ON3P at SIA and in addition to his pay they give him these skis, which in turn he gifted to me.
We are talking dark seeded shit here.
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HAHAHA D you huckster!
We need a separate thread: "How I got over"
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It's called Excuses, Reasons, & Justifications, not what can we get away with and still look at ourselves in the mirror.
We are talking dark seeded shit here.
Just been pointed in this direction by Iron Heart's Enabler-in-chief ( @Giles ) and have to admit to having used pretty much everything listed here; from weedling, to pleading, to half-truthes, to outright lies and deployment of the Dark Arts.
I was a keen fan of keeping things on the DL and then slipping them into rotation with a "but I've had this for ages" if they got noticed. It had a 75% success rate last year but my considerably better half has learned that trick and I get away with it far less often now.
In fact the queen of my heart has now bookmarked ihuk.co.uk and a currency converter, so if something new pops in the wardrobe, she'll look it up and comes at me equipped with cold hard facts to back up her outrage. In other words, I'm fekked.
I've considered telling her that the published prices are only what the noobs pay and that all regular customers have a permanent hefty discount. On the one hand the scale of that lie horrifies me. On the other hand, I'm probably going to hell already anyway…
