I only popped on here to look at the jeans.

@CosmoSix5 A Chelsea shirt for $2.99? Your wife was robbed

Newbie here, so hopefully nobody offended by this one.

Sister Mary entered the Monastery of Silence. The Abbot said, “ sister, this is a silent monastery. You are welcome here as long as you like, but you may not speak until I direct you to do so.”
Sister Mary lived in the monastery for 5 years before the abbot said to her, “ Sister Mary, you have been here for 5 years. You can speak two words.
Sister Mary said, “Hard bed.”
“Im sorry to hear that” the Abbot said, “we’ll get you a better bed.”
After 5 more years, Sister Mary was called by the Abbot. “ You may say another 2 words Sister”.
“ Cold food”, said Sister Mary. The Abbot assured her the food would be better in future.
On her 15th anniversary, the Abbot again called Sister Mary into his office. “ You may say 2 words today”.
“ I quit” said Sister Mary.
“It’s probably for the best” said the Abbot, “ you’ve done fuck all but moan since you’ve been here”.

A husband takes his wife to a disco.
There’s a guy on the dance giving it large - break dancing, moonwalking, back flips, the works.

The wife turns to her husband and says “ see that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down.”

Husband says “ looks like he’s still fucking celebrating!”

@Jett129 The IT Crowd was written by Graham Linehan. He was also a co writer on Father Ted. If you haven’t watched it, I strongly recommend it. One of the greatest sitcom coms of all time imo.

@jimcasey nice badge

@Jett129 very good.

Bloody hell, time is flying by even quicker than I thought.

@goosehd totally agree but still probably exceeded most expectations.

Makes the Villa Park gig even more poignant.

@EdH that sounds a sensible system, but probably far too sensible to catch on over here!

The stress of knowing who and how much to tip in the US genuinely removes all enjoyment from any eating and drinking experience. I have loved all my trips over there but the tipping culture and expectation is ridiculous.

@endo funny how it seems

I’m assuming you were quoting the start of a Spandeau Ballet song