That's Jokes

[alcatraz]

Went to the pub last night with my wife and I said I love you.
She said " is that you or the beer talking?"
I said it's me talking to the beer.

[madmonday]

LOL.

what?  these are some funny jokes 

[Giles]

So, a couple of Hill Billy's get married.

They go off on their honeymoon.  The next day the groom turns up back at home.

Dad "So what's up son"
Son "She was a virgin"
Dad "You did the right thing boy, if she aint good enough for her family, she aint good enough for ours"

[jimmy]

^ ouh man that's one of the sickest I've heard

[injunjack]

YeeeeeHaaaa, where's my banjo?

[alcatraz]

I went for my routine annual check up today and everything was going fine until he stuck his index finger up my arse.

Do you think I should change dentists!

[elclintor]

So a man goes to the doctor's office.

The doctor says "you've gotta quit masturbating."

The man asks "why?"

The doctor says "so I can examine you."

[alcatraz]

The Grim Reaper came for me last night and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner.

Talk about Dyson with death!

[baracuta61]

dear deidre,
the other day i looked out of my bedroom window and saw my neighbour's 18 year old daughter sunbathing topless in their garden. i had been masturbating vigorously for about 5 minutes when i turned round and saw my wife standing in the doorway  watching me.

is she a pervert?

[baracuta61]

my friend asked "whats your ringtone?"
i said "i'm not sure, it's difficult to see, but i would guess  light brown"

[Geo]

Seul said he bought a pair of Meatloaf boxer shorts the other day

Apparently there's a print on the front that says 'I will do anything for love'

. . . and a print on the back saying 'but I won't do that' . . .

[Beatle]

lol….

[jacoavlu]

[rocket]

[babyknight]

LOL…...........

[Seul]

@Geo:

Seul said he bought a pair of Meatloaf boxer shorts the other day

Apparently there's a print on the front that says 'I will do anything for love'

. . . and a print on the back saying 'but I won't do that' . . .

Geo had his customised: on the back his reads "Cheeky"…

[Giles]

Oh, I thought it said "One Way Street"

[Seul]

" Haggis: 5' "

[Geo]

Well you can say what you want, but I'm certainly not going to try taking the piss out of your pants . . .

[alcatraz]

I've just seen a poor old lady trip over on the pavement.

Well I assume she is poor - she only had 40p in her purse!

When I was kid all the other kids would cover me in cream and strawberries then stab me with forks.

Life was tough in the gateau!