Excuses, "Reasons" & Justifications For Your Latest Purchase
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It's called Excuses, Reasons, & Justifications, not what can we get away with and still look at ourselves in the mirror.
We are talking dark seeded shit here.
Just been pointed in this direction by Iron Heart's Enabler-in-chief ( @Giles ) and have to admit to having used pretty much everything listed here; from weedling, to pleading, to half-truthes, to outright lies and deployment of the Dark Arts.
I was a keen fan of keeping things on the DL and then slipping them into rotation with a "but I've had this for ages" if they got noticed. It had a 75% success rate last year but my considerably better half has learned that trick and I get away with it far less often now.
In fact the queen of my heart has now bookmarked ihuk.co.uk and a currency converter, so if something new pops in the wardrobe, she'll look it up and comes at me equipped with cold hard facts to back up her outrage. In other words, I'm fekked.
I've considered telling her that the published prices are only what the noobs pay and that all regular customers have a permanent hefty discount. On the one hand the scale of that lie horrifies me. On the other hand, I'm probably going to hell already anyway…
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"I've had this for ages…."
"It was a bargain..."
"No, No.....from ebay, not retail!"....
What makes things worse is my wife hardly ever spends on clothes etc!!
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Look, we all have our vices and surely it's better that I spend it on this stuff rather than crack or whores, isn't it darling?
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and to quote a forum member statement on a diff site:
"The total cost was $800 ($500 for the boots + $300 bribe, in the form of a new phone, paid to the wife)"
Yup… done that too. New shirt for me = out to town for a nice dinner.
I've also made a serious effort to groom her/radicalize her into the IH fold with all manner of arguments (environmental/ethical/style/quality etc.) The fact of the matter is, she'd look boss in IH gear and we'd become co-dependant. Win-win, if you ask me....
But she's not having any of it ::)
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I vaguely considered making a "better-half" version of the website at one time. Slightly different URL that could be given to "those that matter" with prices at about half of what the real items cost…
I might have to brush up my Dreamweaver skills and knock that up myself… I'm currently suffering under no-trade embargo for the foreseeable future....
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I'm fortunate enough to receive quarterly bonuses in my job, my fool proof plan was something like this
"As I got my bonus, I decided to treat you to that/those bags/shoes/perfume/makeup etc." followed by
"Oh yeah, I got myself a little something"
Used to work, until she would stop me mid sentence by saying "doesn't mean you can buy more jeans"
Eventually, she told me that as I have so many jeans, that to her ALL look the same, I didn't have to try and be devious about it, as she wouldn't really notice.
I took that as a green light [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
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