A thread for jokes and comedy.  Lets keep this focused on text jokes/comedy, since a thread for videos/music/etc. already exists and I know people, myself included, would be tempted to get away with videos.

I don't particularly have a problem with the more filthy or otherwise inappropriate jokes, but curb your mind if you feel the urge to post some obviouisly bigoted shit and take it to another forum.

And now:

**A proctologist, after just getting off a long day her practice remembers that she's got to make it to the bank to make a deposit before it closes.  She drives to the bank walks in and upon seeing nobody in line, makes her way to the first available teller.

She says, 'I need to make a deposit'.

The teller replies, 'Sure.  Just fill out this deposit slip and I'll take care of that for you'.

The proctologist reaches for her pocket and pulls out a thermometer and begins to write with it before she realizes what it is.  'Shit', she exclaims.

The teller asks, 'What's the matter?'

The proctologist responds, 'Dammit. It's nothing.  Some assshole just has my pen'.**

Keep it clean.  Let's get it on.

Bumping this from the bottom of the last page because I just picked up a pair of these (in leiu of the 9634, which was out in my size) and I gotta say that having (briefly) owned a pair of the previous superblack cloth in the form of the skinny superblack, this denim is softening up terrifically.

Riding about 15 miles a day to and from a second job has really started to break them in, the best part being the lack of evolving a saddle fade.Though it's never been a big deal on my other jeans it's nice to own a pair that'll change minimally. I cannot wait to wash these babies after these two hellish weeks to experience their sweet caress.  I truly am amazed out how these felt out of the box and how they feel now.   

I think the zipper acent really nice also, cause I was definitely skeptical.  I think zippers could even be said to have their own 'tone'.  This thing sounds  like dragging a stick along a series of stubby rod irons.

Dave was bragging to his boss one day, “You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.”

Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, “OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?”

“No problem, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it.”

So Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise’s door, and Tom Cruise shouts, “Dave! What’s happening? Great to see you! Come on in for a beer!”

Although impressed, Dave’s boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise’s house, he tells Dave that he thinks him knowing Cruise was just lucky.

“No, no, just name anyone else,” Dave says.

“President Bush,” his boss quickly retorts. “Yup,” Dave says, “Old buddies, let’s fly out to Washington and off they go. At the White House, Bush spots Dave on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, “Dave, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let’s have a cup of coffee first and catch up.”

Well, the boss is very shaken by now but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds he expresses his doubts to Dave, who again implores him to name anyone else.

“The Pope,” his boss replies.

“Sure!” says Dave. “I’ve known the Pope for years.” So off they fly to Rome.

Dave and his boss are assembled with the masses at the Vatican’s St. Peter’s Square when Dave says, “This will never work. I can’t catch the Pope’s eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I’ll come out on the balcony with the Pope.”

He disappears into the crowd headed towards the Vatican.

Sure enough, half an hour later Dave emerges with the Pope on the balcony, but by the time Dave returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.

Making his way to his boss’ side, Dave asks him, “What happened?”

His boss looks up and says, “It was the final straw … you and the Pope came out on to the balcony and the man next to me said, ‘Who the fuck is that on the balcony with Dave?”

Big thanks to eyeq8402.  08SS was exactly as described.  Proceed with confidence!

The random umbrellas populating the streets of Kobe make me really want to go back to Japan.

The beer just seems to taste better there, too.

I'm not sure I'd go for the machine wash, but I'm happy and not surprised it took it like a champ.

I recently hand washed the navy in warmer than normal water to see if I could get it slightly shorter/narrower and it worked like a dream. Since it was it's first wash, prior to the heavy use season, I was surprised at how much I liked the slightly rumpled and worn-in uneveness of the melton. 

Brilliant garment.

It has been asked before, but I appreciate some repitition.  I can be thick headed.

Is the Large the equivalent to a size 40?

@7tacos:

Giles, is the Ventile Harrington going to take on a similar cut as the Condura breakers of the past?  That cut works great for me.

I hope this arrives soon!

Dexter_ is a patient champ.  Busy at work and communication took a few days, due to my work load, but he was gracious and shipped quickly.  Many thanks for the rarity!

That tutorial is much appreciated jimmy!  Cheers!

But faster indeed.  Way to beat 'em up!

Just picked up a cycling cap made of ventile.  Such a great fabric. Totally pleased and surprised Haraki is using it.

I got sick for the last few days and just stopped because it's hard to find time to smoke the stomach flu.  Now, I'm wondering if I want to go back…

A friend who managed to quit said he had more success quitting while under the weather, for what its worth.