Random Announcements
-
Not Yreka, near Eureka (on the coast). I see those little things all the time, and yes they are big and gross. I've seen em @ 6 inches long or so. If you touch them and then rub a little of the slime on your lips they'll go numb for a minute (learned that at the redwoods science camp as a kid).
Have fun with the hill people. -
-
-
Don't mess with the fighting Banana Slugs. Coolest mascot ever.
-
Trying to hook up my new printer/scanner/fax and the new Wifi…. HORSESHIT!
-
Have some comedy:
1)guy who has walked into bar: Excuse, bartender, do you have any helicopter flavor potato chips?
bartender: I'm afraid we only have plain.
-
A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "The bar is closed." The man takes out an novelty foam Pope hat that has the phrase "RIDE THE PARTY BU$" emblazoned across the front. The bartender is skeptical, but the man smiles gently and becons him. Instantly, the bartender is transported to a magical kingdom far under the seas, where all the creatures of the ocean are singing and dancing. Howver, the bartender dies from the immense water pressure. The man, still back in the bar, pours himself some amontillado and weeps deeply - the bartender was his father.
A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a New Yorker were captured by a fierce tribe in the rain forests of Brazil. Not long after their capture, the chief walked up to them and said, “The bad news is that now that we've caught you we're going to kill you and use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you get to choose how you die”.
The Frenchman said, “I take ze poison”. The chief gave him some poison. The Frenchman said “Vive la France!” and drank the poison down and died.
The Englishman said, “A pistol for me, please”. The chief gave him a pistol. The Englishmen pointed it at his head, said “God save the Queen!” and blew his brains out.
The New Yorker said, “Gimme a fork”. The chief was puzzled, but he shrugged and gave him a fork. The New Yorker took the fork and started jabbing himself all over: the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. There was blood gushing out all over the ground and all over everyone. It was horrible.
The chief was appalled, and screamed, “What are you doing???”
The New Yorker looked at the chief and said, “So much for your canoe, motherfucker!”
-
-
Ha, edited for proper NY jargon.
-
embarrassingly i did not get the first two
-
yeah….am i an idiot? i dont get that second joke.
how do you wake up lady gaga? poke her face
-
#3 was actually not bad..but I'm with Riffblaster - what is #2 all about ?
We can do anything
http://bybeatle.com -
I encountered #2 and didn't laugh at first, but after reading it a second time, I cracked up. Shit is absurd…w/ a pope hat, that says 'RIDE THE PARTY BU$'. The bartender is skeptical of that.
I know it's got no punchline, it was random though. Carry on.
EDIT: Also, from now on, the forum has a jokes thread:
-
It's fucking rare, but i bumped into a couple that are wearing ih jeans today. We said hi, and he could even remember my forum nick! Kind of regret not taking pics together as the place (library) was not really appropriate.
He could be reading this! Sadly, he is just reads this forum instead of posting.
