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    Iron Heart Fall/Winter 2025 Collection Preview - Now Live

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    • hecticH
      hectic
      Joined:

      @simon626:

      I actually sit and think before i click "Post" every time i write something, and wonder if anyone will get mad or if i'm doing the "correct" thing. Sometimes i feel like i'm just voicing my opinion, which i thought is what i'm supposed to do. Sometimes i get the impression that i'm not supposed to voice my opinion unless it's great advice.

      Simon, this is natural reaction to any new social situation. I remember the very first time I was online in a public forum (this was the early nineties so it was a v.basic text only bulletin board). It was at my friends work and he suggested I have a chat with the people he normally chatted to online. So I tapped a tentative Hello and asked what everyone was doing - the first response was "Chatting on here you nob" -  you can imagine that I was little bit upset.

      But its all about context and familiarity (which I had none of), in the early days of online interaction everyone was trying to formulate a social grammar (a common set of rules) on how to navigate this new type of social space (I guess they had to do it for the telephone as well, IIR they invented the word "hello" so that people had something to say when they started a telephone call).

      Most of us on here have had a long time to learn this new grammar and therefore we have thick skins (in the same way that you had to learn how to conduct yourself when you first went to high school, for example).

      The main thing to remember is that this experience is heavily mediated (i.e.: there is a lot of "structure" between you and the other people on the forum) so you are effectively very insulated from the impact of a negative (or positive) interaction. Whilst I think that there is increasing blurring between online and RL (real life) interactions, at the end of the day it is text on a screen. If you get a good balance between online living and RL living then you will have the all life skills you need (lets face it, thank god you're not locked into World of Warcraft for 18 hours a day).

      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
      • GilesG
        Giles
        IHUK Crew
        Joined:

        @simon626:

        Sometimes when people get extremely heated over a couple of posts, that's what makes me not want to be on here anymore. Most everyone on here is an adult, and I think you should treat each other that way. If someone does something you disapprove of, just ask nicely and i'm sure they'd be more than willing to comply to your methods. I know i am.

        For what it's worth Simon, I absolutely agree with you.  And I would be personally very upset - and extremely pissed off -  it anyone felt scared or worried about posting…G

        "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
        • GilesG
          Giles
          IHUK Crew
          Joined:

          So, now you have got me on this topic.  When I set this forum up, I made the decision that it would not be over moderated.  I felt that some of the other forums out there are so far up their own arses that they seem to exist only for the initiated few.  I did not want this forum to be like one of those.  Yes, I do want it to be the best place on the web to get info and advice on Iron Heart, but it needs to be fun and useable too.  Let's do our best to make that happen…G

          "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
          • ?
            Guest
            Joined:

            @Giles:

            For what it's worth Simon, I absolutely agree with you.  And I would be personally very upset - and extremely pissed off -  it anyone felt scared or worried about posting…G

            G, I'm so glad to hear you say this, you being the King Moderator. We all have our individual personalities and lemme tell ya – if you don't like the forum Shubha, you probably won't prefer the real Shubha. The two are fairly congruent. I'm pretty opinionated about certain topics but I mean no harm to anyone. I'm passionate about what I believe in. If I had to transform into someone else just to be liked and accepted on a forum, fuck it -- I would not bother wasting my time !

            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
            • BeatleB
              Beatle
              Joined:

              Rename random announcements philosophical announcements ?  Poll ???

              We can do anything

              http://bybeatle.com

              last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
              • BeatleB
                Beatle
                Joined:

                We can do anything

                http://bybeatle.com

                last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                • ?
                  Guest
                  Joined:

                  Great idea Beatle. DO IT. Philosophical Ruminations is better.

                  last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • BeatleB
                    Beatle
                    Joined:

                    I was kidding

                    We can do anything

                    http://bybeatle.com

                    last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                    • ?
                      Guest
                      Joined:

                      @deadendpro:

                      You are an adolescent. So am I. As is most any other individual whom lives with their family supporting them in some way. It doesn't need to be financial, it could just be living with them. Adolescence ends when one becomes fully self dependent.

                      I disagree with this dead, though I respect your argument. Here's the deal…I'm South Asian (from South India). Our culture promotes parents living with their children during their adult lifetimes. My dad is deceased (RIP) but my Mom splits her time between my sisters' family (also in The Bay Area, on The Penninsula) and Oakland (my home). Why ? Because I could never tell Mom to go find her own apartment, though she can well afford it (she still works and makes damn good money). That said, I love having my Mom around. She's not a burden at all, and in fact, she's my best friend. But I'm not in the least financially dependent upon her -- I make my own (good) living -- she lives with us rent free. She's my Mom.  When I lived in Texas & Colorado (previous life), Mom and/or Dad did not live with me. There was a period where I lived alone. What I'm saying is -- living with parent(s) does not make you an adolescent. Simon can relate to this -- as likely -- his own mom will be living with him his whole life long -- it's part of the Asian culture.

                      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • deadendproD
                        deadendpro
                        啓蒙家
                        Joined:

                        @shubbz- yeah, i get what you mean. very similar in the latino/mexican culture as well. i just meant to post that as a 'pat-on-the-back + you're not alone here Simon; i'm young too' but i see exactly where you are coming from and what you are saying.

                        @giles- sorry for causing a commotion here, i didn't mean to offend with my original post and i def didnt want you to feel like your cause wasn't falling apart due to posts like my previous post in this thread.

                        @simon- Hey man, i'll pm you.

                        Currently Wearing:
                        SExSx3s 27-01
                        15.4oz 3sixteen Type 3
                        25oz Samurai Type 1

                        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                        • ?
                          Guest
                          Joined:

                          Simon, even though I rag on you for your cigs/cannabis habit – I know that you don't mind it. That's why I do it to YOU and YOU only.

                          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                          • ?
                            Guest
                            Joined:

                            I will also say this. I am VERY thankful for my Mom. There's no fucking way I'd be who I am, where I am, professionally successful, confident, the go-getter that I am in life – if it weren't for Mom. My Dad had a lot to do with my formation too, but my Mom was key. Thank You Mom !

                            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                            • deadendproD
                              deadendpro
                              啓蒙家
                              Joined:

                              @shubharamani:

                              Simon, even though I rag on you for your cigs/cannabis habit – I know that you don't mind it. That's why I do it to YOU and YOU only.

                              Ohhhhhh Simon….... Zippo Fade in your FH's??????????  😉  😘

                              Currently Wearing:
                              SExSx3s 27-01
                              15.4oz 3sixteen Type 3
                              25oz Samurai Type 1

                              last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                              • ?
                                Guest
                                Joined:

                                @simon626:

                                hahaha yea i don't mind SHubz. Nag away (:

                                I knew it. You're smart enough Simon, to realize that I come from a loving place.

                                last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                • BeatleB
                                  Beatle
                                  Joined:

                                  Sometimes I can´t help myself….

                                  We can do anything

                                  http://bybeatle.com

                                  last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                  • SeulS
                                    Seul
                                    Joined:

                                    23 oz helicopter.  😠

                                    last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                    • ?
                                      Guest
                                      Joined:

                                      Major Brownie Points ! Guess who saw me at work today, on a beautiful, sunny Oakland Sunday ? My VP ! No shit, my VP and his wife were here. In fact, my VP knocked on my door to say "Hi". I told him that I was working on my upcoming presentation. Here's the deal : I  am no brown-noser. My work ethic and accomplishments speak for themselves. I never told colleagues that I was going to be here this weekend…As a professional, I just get my job done -- no matter how many hours it takes. But it's awesome that my VP caught me in the act on the weekend !

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                                      • Madame ButtonflyM
                                        Madame Buttonfly
                                        IHUK Crew
                                        Joined:

                                        Ha, having to work at the weekend is tough - especially on a beautiful day - great that your VP happened upon you!  Here's hoping that we'll be seeing a random announcement soon about your next promotion…  😉

                                        AKA Mrs G

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                                        • ?
                                          Guest
                                          Joined:

                                          I regret telling Simon once that I'm "…very smart".  Trust me, I often encounter people in life who are considerably smarter than me. It's humbling, to say the least.

                                          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                          • ?
                                            Guest
                                            Joined:

                                            Beautiful pic of LA Simon ! Wow !

                                            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
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